muuuuuuusic! my life.


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27.5.08

boyfriends.

its at times like these where I am so thankful I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have anything wrong against people who do, but i'm just glad I am without. You never really realize how important and real those talks of "don't get in a serious relationship...don't have a boyfriend through highschool..." really are. And when you hear bad news, there's nothing you can do, nothing I could say. I just froze.. And the horrible gut feeling just planted in my stomach. I wanted to cry. I did cry. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to hit someone. I still do. I want to scream. Breathe in. Breathe out.
I need to rewind. I have to talk to her, be there for her. I should have known. I knew this was coming, yet I didn't do one single thing about it. I didn't think about it. What does having a boyfriend even do? Well, nothing really, unless you decide its alright to do things. Well don't. Its not ok. It ruins you. It ruins what you could have been. It ruins the people around you.

Breathe.

2 comments:

Haley said...

you're pregnant?

Julie said...

Allie, I love you. I know how you are feeling. I am pretty sure I know what you are talking about. And my heart broke as well.