i wish i could say

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understood me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life.

It hurts. It hurts to know there are so many things i have left to say that i can't. It hurts being here. It hurts to remember. It hurts even worse when I try to forget. It hurts to think of all the mean things I said to you and about you. But it hurts most when every day it sinks in more and more that this all isn't just a nightmare anymore.